Thursday, September 20, 2007

Times Like These

I am a one way motorway,
I'm the one that drives away,
Then follows you back home
I am a street light shining
I’m a wild light blinding bright
Burning off alone

It’s times like these you learn to live again
It’s times like these you give and give again
It’s times like these you learn to love again
It’s times like these time and time again

I am a new day rising
I’m a brand new sky
To hang the stars upon tonight
I am a little divided
Do I stay or run away
And leave it all behind?

It’s times like these you learn to live again
It’s times like these you give and give again
It’s times like these you learn to love again
It’s times like these time and time again
--------------------------------------------------------
The Foo Fighters - Times Like These


This song has somehow affected me more than I could have expected. I know that I'm at a threshold of my life - I've had to leave some parts of me behind for nothing better than satisfying myself, and because I'd taken a burden upon myself that I couldn't quite carry. It was causing pain and conflict. So I moved out of that obligation. But it does make me feel like an utter coward, somewhere.

Now, I feel more optimistic about life, and its trials and tribulations. I find myself looking forward to things. Looking forward to spending time with that special someone. Finding things and emotions within me transforming - into something new, but not bad or wrong. It's like getting into a new pair of clothes, or looking out at the world from under a new set of pince-nez - it's a revelation to realise that there was more to Heaven and Earth than was known of in my philosophy. (Yes, that's a shady Shakespeare allusion. Deal)

I'm going to learn how to live. On my own. Not have it shown to me. I shall learn, and live. I shall be happy. It's times like these which determine the real character of a human being. I'm going to make my life something greater than it was.

The entire idea of having a hurdle, of having something to climb, is to find that moment of perfection of standing at the summit of your effort, to recognize the beauty from high up above, and live for that moment - before enjoying the 5 seconds it takes you to fall down off that height, and celebrate the death of that which once was.

Thursday, September 13, 2007

Some things, you just can't believe.


How can ANYONE be serious when they say that they'd rather go to Roti Park with you than go to Peco's with someone else? :-)

On the other hand, why would anyone stay up nearly all night just to come up with some shitty legal case for some shitty hypothetical woman?

Why would anyone ruin a week of their life for almost nothing?

Why would we stop ourselves from doing what we would really, REALLY like to do?

Why can I not express the love I feel?

Too many questions, and too few answers.

But life is a quest for such answers. And I'm looking as hard as I can.