Give me as many reasons as you want - I just want to leave.

It's very difficult to explain something to someone entirely self absorbed. In fact, it's impossible to do so entirely. To be able to understand what someone's saying, you need to be, to some extent, in their shoes, and thus begin to construct what they mean by what they're saying, and why they're saying it. For self absorbed people, this isn't possible. It's also difficult to understand self absorbed people - they're so busy making sense to and for themselves, that other people don't matter.

The worst kind of self absorbed person is the self absorbed coward. These creatures don't tell you what they want, but expect you to read something they've written or conveniently left around for you, so you can stumble upon it. And they try to molly-coddle what they're saying, and what they want from you, so it ends up with the other person sitting through a ridiculous medley of 'What-I-Want's and 'What-I-Need's which no one should have to hear. It's torturous to be told that something you say to express yourself doesn't seem to be 'serving a purpose' for her, so it shouldn't be said.

Oh, every word I say is not for the other person's benefit. It's because I want to say something. This is where communication becomes a problem. 'Meaningful' conversations are conversations that the self absorbed find meaningful. 'Useful' things are things they find useful. It's ludicrous.

And to think I've been making an effort to try and be nice. Well, screw that. I can't believe I sat through what she was saying as long as I did. I put the computer away because my mother took one look at me, got me a glass of water, and whispered to me that my look was scaring Ria. It was. I'm just glad I didn't say anything then. And I'm glad I was able to blow her off without saying anything particularly nasty. Ria's been following me around since then, and won't leave me alone.

It just annoys me so much to know that I was making an effort, and that effort was to be able to show someone I care about (can't say any more about it. Don't feel it anymore. For the first time in two years. It's over) that there is a better way to be, and that's she doesn't see it. But it's quite disappointing to learn that my trying to show her these things wasn't 'meaningful' enough, simply because it didn't suit her frame of mind.

There is no compromise. She just WANTS. She just NEEDS. Everyone else is secondary.
Empress of her own little universe. With no one in it. For they're all leaving. Because they can't bear to be there too long. It's interesting that half of the people she mentions as people looking out 'just for her', are people she's called selfish half the time she's known them. Her hypocritical nature is beyond belief. I spent a substantial portion of my time around her listening to her say things completely inconsequential without complaint. And now what I say is meaningless.

That's it - I really don't have to take this. At all. I asked her what she wanted, and she got it. In the beginning, and through the end.

She wants it clean - I'll give it to her.